Posted on Monday, 2nd February 2009 by Maritzia

It’s been a busy few weeks, but I’ve finally gotten back to this series on Discernment.  In my last post in this series, I talked specifically about my religious background, just to give you an idea of who I am and where I come from in this discussion.  In the next couple of posts, I’d like to share a bit about the hows of my spiritual evolution.

I don’t want to get into a long discussion (or argument) about whether or not there are universal, fundamental truths in the world.  I believe that each person has their own subjective view of what is truth, and each person’s truth should be honored by others.  I don’t want to try and convince anyone that their truth, though different than mine, is wrong.  We each must find our own truth in this world, and that truth may or may not agree with anyone else’s truth.

Are there objective truths in the world?  I don’t know.  At this point in my life, I don’t even want to know.  When I was much younger, I wanted there to be hard, concrete truths that were the same for everyone.  Why?  Because it was easy.  If there are objective truths, you just figure those out and believe in them.  The are no questions, no arguments, the truth just is.  Except that it isn’t.  If you study science, you’ll see scientists accepting principles as being truth, and a few years later having everything they’ve accepted turned on it’s ear by new research.  The more we learn, the more we truly understand just how much we don’t know.

It took me a long time to accept that we just don’t know everything, and it’s  likely that, in our current lifetime, we still won’t know everything.  That was when I realized that I would have to learn to define my truths for myself.  And thus started a long journey from which I still cannot see the end.

Posted in Religion/Spirituality | Comments (2)

Posted on Friday, 30th January 2009 by Maritzia

Wow…what a day yesterday was.  If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my tweet yesterday looking for an old friend of my husband’s.  The reason for this was simple – I had a dream.

The dream was so vivid and I could remember it so clearly; I just knew it was telling me to look for Ole.  I don’t know why it was so imperative yesterday.  I mean, I’ve looked for Ole off and on for the entire time Mark and I have been together (over 6 years now – I did the first search before we had even physically met the first time).  I just had this feeling that now was the right time.  The urgency just kept pushing at me.

So, although I am a procrastinator in the extreme, yesterday I listened and obeyed.  And I found Ole.  After about 2 hours of various empty google searches, it finally dawned on my to try Linked In.  I’d signed up for Linked In some time ago, but hadn’t used it much.  But, I thought, I’m not having much luck otherwise, I might as well try that.  And there he was.  I didn’t know for sure it was him, but all the details matched.  So I sent him a friend request explaining the situation.

And it was him.  I got his reply just after I got home from work, and my husband spent a happy hour composing an e-mail to finally reconnect with his old friend.

The Goddess spoke, and I listened, and now at least three people are very happy: Mark, Ole, and me, because I was able to do this for my husband.

Thank you, Fate, for the right nudge at the right time.  You’re quite a Goddess, lady.

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Posted on Friday, 30th January 2009 by Maritzia

The Hobbit  (who I won’t link because his blog is private), offered a giveaway for the first 7 people to comment.  The rules are that I have to do the same thing here.  So, the first 7 people to comment will get something from me with the following caveats:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It’ll be done this year (2009).
- You have no clue what it’s going to be. 

The catch is that you have to post this in your blog (and consequently fashion things for others) if you expect me to do something for you!

So, go ahead and comment!  I’m waiting with bated breath to see if I even have 7 readers *laughs*.

Posted in Personal | Comments (2)

Posted on Friday, 23rd January 2009 by Maritzia

I thought that since my reading for today encouraged me to use my intuition, that today would be an opportune time to do a reading about my current employment.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m on contract in my current job through the end of March.  I have no assurances that this job will go past March.  However, I really like this job and would love for it to go permanent.  I pulled three cards for a past/present/future format while asking a non-specific question about the future of this job.

First Card – Five of Pentacles

The first card, representing the past of the situation, is the Five of Pentacles.  The pentacles are an earth suit representing that which is tangible: finances, health, job, etc.  The Fives are the proverbial fly in the ointment cards.  It’s a card of difficulties, which is quite appropos, since the reason I was available for this job was that I was laid off from my previous job and was unemployed for almost 3 months.  It was, indeed, a time of financial difficulties.

Second Card – Ace of Wands

The second card, representing the present, is the Ace of Wands.  The Wands are the fire suit and represent passion and energy.  The Aces are about potential, starts, energy that can be directed.  Again, it’s an apropos card for this reading.  I’ve just started taking tech support calls in my job, which is something I really love doing.  I enjoy it and I’m good at it.  Before this, I liked the job, but it was just another job.  But now I’m getting to do several things I really enjoy including tech support and web design work, and I have more energy to apply to my work because I love what I’m doing.

Third Card – Ace of Cups

This is the meat of the reading, the card representing the future, the Ace of Cups.  As I said earlier, the Aces are about beginnings and the energy that goes with them.  The suit of Cups is under a water sign.  The Cups are expressive of emotions and spirituality.  This particular card, in the Rider Waite desks, is usually pictured with a Chalice overflowing, representing abundance and wishes granted.  This card also is often interpreted as the beginning of relationships, whether love or friendship.  It’s a time of blossoming.

I can interpret this in various ways.  My dream of becoming an employee here coming true and providing abundance of…well…everything for me.  It could be the blossoming of friendships here at the job (which really, I’d have to be working here for those to blossom, just not necessarily as a full employee, I could still be a contractor).  It could be indicating a relationship at a new place of employment, again somewhere my passions can blossom.

I’m hesitant to reach too far with my intuition on this one because it’s easy, when reading the cards for yourself, to let your desires color your interpretations.  And I try not to do that.  I must say, though, that I’ve had a very good feeling about this job since it first became a possibility, and it’s only gotten stronger the longer I’ve worked here.  I guess this is just going to have to be one of those wait and see times.  Whatever happens, though, it appears that it will be a time of growth for me.

Posted in Tarot | Comments (3)

Posted on Friday, 23rd January 2009 by Maritzia

Today’s Card: Queen of Cups

The Queen of Cups, as a person, is creative and intuitive.  A person more comfortable in the spiritual world at times than the physical.  In a reading she can refer to a specific person or to the qualities of that person.  In this case, I feel like it’s the qualities that are being called to here.  Somehow, my intuition is important today.  I need to be open to the needs of myself and those around me in order to provide the answers that are needed.

Goddess Card: Maeve

Maeve is a Celtic Goddess associated with the feminine.  In this deck, she represents cycles and rhythms, both physical and emotional.  Her message is to honor the cycles of your body, accept them, in some ways cater to them.  Railing against them is to no avail.

So, are these cards giving me different messages, or are they related.  My only question in pulling these daily cards is, what do I need to know about today?  Well, my intuition, as provoked by the Queen of Cups, tells me that they are related.  That I need to train my intuition on my own physical needs today, and give what my body needs.

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Posted on Thursday, 22nd January 2009 by Maritzia

My message to Michelle Obama:

Dear Ms. Obama,

Thank you!

As a woman, I know how much it means to move to the top ranks in a job.  I know how much you are sacrificing for your husband to be able to lead this country.  Professionally, you’ve given up pretty much everything.  I know that the odds of your ever returning to your previous career are almost nil.  Personally you’ve given up your privacy, your right to your own voice, having to sumblimate who you are to the exigencies of campaigning and running a government.  So much of your own identity is sacrificed to that of your husband in a time when women are still striving to be seen as their own person even in marriage.

So, just in case no one else says it, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for the sacrifices you have made so we can have Barack Obama as our President, so we can regain the freedoms we’ve lost, and so the United States of America can prosper through these difficult economic times.

I’ve watched the clips of you and your husband dancing together at various Inaugural Balls, and it brings tears to my eyes to see the love and respect that you two obviously hold for each other, so I know he appreciates the gift that you are.  But I want you to know how much we, the American public, appreciate you as well.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  May the next 4 years (and hopefully another 4 after that), be as peaceful and easy for you as possible.

Posted in Activism, Feminism, Political | Comments (3)

Posted on Thursday, 22nd January 2009 by Maritzia

“I made the hard decisions.”  Those were the words of our not-so-esteemed Former President.  They’ve been going around in my head in the last week, and I finally was able to put my finger on why they annoyed me so much (more than his words usually do, I mean).  It’s because he didn’t make “the hard decision”.

The Hard Decision

Hard decisions require going against what would be popular, knowing it would hurt you in the long run, but doing it anyway because it was right, regardless of legalities.  The hard decision regarding torture would have been very different from Bush’s decision.  The hard decision would have been to decide against torture, even if it meant possible  harm to citizens in the future, because torture is wrong.  It would have been making that decision against torture knowing that one day he may have to stand before grieving family members and admit that he might have been able to stop the attack, but chose to do what was right.

Bush Didn’t Make the Hard Decision

The decision Former President Bush made on torture was not the hard decision.  It was the expediant decision.  It was the easy way out.  It was a decision he figured he could easily defend before the country, because it was done under the guise of “keeping America safe”. 

And if this was truly a hard decision, he wouldn’t have taken time to get a legal position on his actions.  If it was a hard decision made because he truly thought he was doing the right thing, he’d have gone forward regardless.  Instead he took time to get legal opinions on his actions.  That’s not making a hard decision.  That’s covering your ass.

Thanks to all that is divine that that man is no longer in a position of power in our country.

Posted in Activism, Political | Comments (3)

Posted on Wednesday, 21st January 2009 by Maritzia

Dianne Sylvan wrote at her blog, Dancing down the Moon about what happens when you have a crisis of faith and you don’t have a community to turn to.  That’s been the hardest struggle for me in being pagan, finding community.  This is what I replied to her post:

I’ve been somewhat pagan for years, and been a practicing pagan for about 5 years. In that time, I’ve connected had face to face interactions with other pagans maybe 3 times. Everything I know and do and practice is self-taught in a vacuum. I went to on-line communities and met a wall of “you’re not doing it right”. Well, that’s one of the biggest reasons I stopped being a Christian. I don’t believe there’s just one way to do things. We each have a path to follow, and must follow that path.

It’s been so frustrating for me because I *like* celebrating the divine in community. It’s the one thing I miss about being Catholic, having a community to celebrate and worship with.

How does one find a guide and teacher in the pagan world when everyone is underground and the only ones you can find are the ones that want to control your path?

So I keep stumbling around in the dark, hands outstretched searching for…something…I’m not sure what. I assume that when the time is right I’ll find what it is I need. Until then, I’ll continue groping uselessly.

So, I did a simple 3 card reading on my problem of finding a community.

First Card: Five of Cups

The first card, indicating the past of the issue, is pretty appropos.  In the Five of Cups, you see the figure obsessed with the cups of spilled wine while ignoring those that are full.  Let’s face it, I have a really good life spiritually right now.  I feel more in tune with the divine than I ever have, am finally becoming comfortable with more feminine expressions of the divine, and practice energy work much more easily than I thought would ever be possible.  But I concentrate on the loss of a spiritual community, when honestly, that community was never very accepting of me (I was a liberal feminist with pagan leanings *laughs*, so I didn’t fit in very well with the traditional catholics I tended to worship with).

Second Card: The Moon

The second card, indicating the present situation, is also rather appropriate.  I’ve always been one to let fear override need.  It’s something I always struggle with.  I think, what if they don’t like me? I know, that sounds silly and juvenile, but when you aren’t exactly brimming with self-confidence, it’s a thought that holds sway over you.  I also wonder if I’ll have the energy to be able to work regularly with a group.  Ritual takes energy, and for someone with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, energy can be quite hard to come by.  Add all of that to being a really serious introvert, I’m afraid that even if I do connect with a group, I won’t be able to maintain membership.

Card Three: The Tower

The future of my issue…The Tower.  *sighs* I really wasn’t ready for that one.  I don’t really want to have a major gotcha moment that changes my life and perceptions.  Have I mentioned that I’m not thrilled by change.  I guess my only choice here is to stay as grounded as possible and open to the movements of Fate in my life.  We’ll see where it goes.  Maybe I need to do another reading to clarify this card a bit.  For those who don’t know the cards, The Tower is about false structures that get struck down by truth.  But what structures are false, and what is the truth.  I think I’m afraid to find out.

Goddess Card: Eireen

On the upside is the Goddess Card I pulled for this reading.  Eireen, who is a Greek Goddess who brings peace to all who call on her.  This card urges us to hand over our worries to the Divine and to practice those things that bring us peace.  So I guess that’s my answer for now.  Let go of worry, what will come will come.  Continue as I have, following my path, and let the Goddess guide me.

Posted in Religion/Spirituality, Tarot | Comments (0)

Posted on Tuesday, 20th January 2009 by Maritzia

Early in January, I did a reading for the Year, pulling one card for each month and one for the Year as a whole.

Monthly Cards:

• January – Knight of Cups
• February – The World
• March – Queen of Wands
• April – Two of Wands
• May – Six of Pentacles
• June – Knight of Swords
• July – Justice
• August – Seven of Pentacles
• September – Ace of Swords
• October – The Chariot
• November – Ten of Swords
• December – Queen of Pentacles

Card for 2009

• Page of Cups

I’ll be revisiting this list at the end of each month to review the month just passed and look for guidance for the month to come.

Posted in Tarot | Comments (0)

Posted on Tuesday, 20th January 2009 by Maritzia

May all the Gods and Goddesses bless President Obama and his administration.

I was at work this morning, so I was only able to watch his speech via streaming video. We tried about 5 different websites before we finally found CBS responding. Everyone else was overloaded, so I missed the swearing in.

Every time the camera switched to cover the crowd, new tears came to my eyes. There were so many African-Americans there. I’ve never seen so many people of color at an inaugoration before. Old, young, middle-aged. And I thought about all of the people I grew up with in the Army. About Popsy and Mrs. Harris, who are like second parents to me now that mine are gone. I thought about Little Eddie, who graduated from Virginia Tech last year, the first person in his whole extended family to graduate from college. I thought about Mrs. McPeters, my first grade teacher, who would never have been allowed to teach a little white girl if we weren’t in a military school.

I thought about all the African-Americans I’ve known, worked with, and loved over my 47 years, and I know that what I was feeling was nothing…NOTHING…compared to what they must be feeling today. This was a day I never thought I could possible happen in my lifetime. And yet here it is.

Today we have our first African-American President of the United States. And it fills my heart with pride that my country elected this man by a wide margin, despite ever-present, systemic racism. And I have hope, for the first time in my life since I first understood what racism was, that we may eventually see an America free of racism. Maybe not in my lifetime, maybe, but eventually.

Posted in Activism, Political | Comments (0)