- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It’ll be done this year (2009).
- You have no clue what it’s going to be. 

The catch is that you have to post this in your blog (and consequently fashion things for others) if you expect me to do something for you!

So, go ahead and comment!  I’m waiting with bated breath to see if I even have 7 readers *laughs*.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Passing on the Goodness

But it’s also been a year of great happiness.  We found the most lovely woman to officiate at our wedding, and the whole ceremony was such a wonderful expression of who we are and what our relationship is about.  We had our family all around us (including our pets), and it was a lovely time to renew our love for and commitment to each other.  It was everything we dreamed it could be.

At this time last year, I did a tarot reading for the year.  It’s interesting to look back now at the cards I drew and how they’ve played out during the year.

The Card for the Year: The Star

The star is a positive card for what was, over all, a positive year.  Always, when things seemed darkest, hope shined through and in the end everything worked out.  When I was laid off, I found another job.  When the money wasn’t enough, I got a raise.  When Amber hurt her back, our vet was wonderful and encouraging, and we discovered that even if she hadn’t gotten better, we more than have it in us to care for a special needs pet.  Amber was blessed with an almost total recovery, but at least we aren’t afraid if it happens again.  We know what to do and how to do it, and we know we can handle whatever comes.

The Month Cards

1. January was the King of Wands – He’s about inspiration and ideas, motivation to move forward, find your passion, and take charge.  This was the height of the time I was working in foster care, and both Mark and I hoped we would be able to move into the work full time.  Working with at-risk youth is such demanding, but can be such rewarding, work.
2. February was the Princess of Hearts (aka Page of Cups) – Ahhh…the cups…the suit of emotions.  And the Page is the very emotional one.  And it was an emotional month.  I was accused at work of doing something underhanded (which I didn’t do), and it was made clear to me that we would not be allowed to continue in foster care.  My heart was truly broken.  I was sad and angry and hurt.
3. March was the Ten of Pentacles – The Tens are completion cards, the ultimate, transcendant completion, and the pentacles are an earth sign dealing with physical and financial matters.  While our finances went down this month without the foster care work, this is when I was inspired to start my most recent blog, Administrative Arts, which I believe is going to be my most successful one.  It hasn’t brought financial security yet, but it is definitely progressing well, and I’m excited for the future with it.
4. April was the Tenof Wands – The Ten of Wands is about struggle, ultimate struggle with that which consumes you.  This was a really hard month.  Finances became really bad, I was struggling with both work and the blog, still feeling angry and sad and hurt about work issues.  Yes, a really bad month.
5. May was the Four of Swords – A time of relief after strife.  And May was that.  I started letting go some of my anger and pain from work.  And Mark’s immigration was moving forward, so we started planning the wedding.  It was a good month.  A peaceful month.  It was some down time that I desperately needed.
6. June was Nine of Hearts (aka Nine of Cups) – Like the tens, the nines are completion cards.  With the cups emphasis on emotion and relationships, this is a great card.  Wishes will come true, relationships will reach a pinnacle.  This month we received Mark’s fiancee visa, and we could finally start concrete plans for the wedding.  This really was a great month.
7. July was The Hanged Man – A time of suspension and sacrifice, of making choices.  We were married on the 5th, and on the 6th, Amber hurt her back and was paralyzed.  Time pretty much stood still for us while we took care of her.  Worries about work, immigration, and money were put aside.  We just took care of Amber.  In return, though, we received great insight that we can do whatever is necessary to take care of our babies.  No challenge was too much where they are concerned.  And the puppies learned that as well.  They know they’ll be taken care of no matter what.
8. August was the Four of Hearts (aka Four of Cups) – HAHAHAHA….stagnant relationships….that’s funny.  As Amber improved, I was getting very dissatisfied with my job.  I was looking constantly for something else.  Fate took a hand, though, and I got laid off.  So much for stagnation.
9. September was the Ten of Swords – Yes, an untimely, violent end.  Hitting rock bottom.  I was laid off with no warning, lost my health insurance, was getting no replies to my many resumes.  Yes, things did indeed look quite black this month.  At the same time, though, it really wasn’t that bad, because I was away from that awful job.  In some ways, it was a relief.  I felt like the world was opening up before me.
10. October was The Hermit – A time of introspection as well as searching.  It describes October well.  I was spending a great deal of time thinking about not just employment, but what I really wanted to achieve.  Did I want to keep doing the same things I’ve always done or branch out into something new.  This month was about finding opportunities, which I eventually did.  I started my new job this month.
11. November was the Ace of Hearts (aka Ace of Cups) – A new beginning with love, joy, and compassion exultant.  Yes, Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America.  We have had much exultation and excitement and hope.  Almost two months later, and I’m still filled with hope and excitement, despite some setbacks (can you say Rick Warren?).
12. December was The Devil – A card of temptation and excess.  The Devil is a card of warning.  Don’t fall back into habitual negative behaviors.  If you want to reach the pinnacles, you must move forward, embrace new ways, shed inhibitions as well as excesses (for inhibitions can be as excessive as any addiction when taken to an extreme).  This month I let go of the idea of material security.  I’ve always been a very habitual person who craved normality and security.  I would stay in a job I abhorred rather than move to find something less secure but more satisfying.  This month was about letting go of those things that chained me down and moving forward with the goals of what I really wanted in life.

All in all, 2008 was a difficult but very satisfying year.  I hope 2009 is a happy and prosperous year for us all.  Blessings, everyone.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

2008 Retrospective

This week I had to make a particularly hard decision, at least one that was really hard for me.  Because I have chronic health issues, I am a fanatic about having health insurance.  As some of you know, I was laid off from my  job in August.  I’m working again, but it’s as an independent contractor, meaning I don’t have insurance through my work.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to afford to COBRA my insurance, but I’d be pretty seriously in the whole financially by the end of February if I pay for COBRA.  My only choice was to look for a job that covered my health insurance.

But the problem is that I don’t want to change jobs.  I like what I’m doing.  It’s a great opportunity to increase my technical knowledge and skills.  I like the people I”m working with.  I just didn’t want to go back to the same things I’ve been doing over the last 20 years.  I want this opportunity!

So I made a decision.  I’d give up the insurance for the chance to do a job that I enjoy.  There it is.  The sacrifice.  And it was a hard one for me.  But hopefully the reward will be worth it.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed that the promise of the Star and the 10 of Pentacles holds true.  I’ve made the sacrifice.  Now I want the reward.

The Goddess card today is Vesta, the Roman Goddess of Home and Hearth.  Vesta can indicate a change in the home, either a move or change in occupants.  It can also be a call to make changes in your home, making the home more inviting, more warm.  *laughs* Warmth would be good right about now–I’m freezing!  Because the utility just got a 26% increase in gas prices, we’re keeping the main heater off.  We’re spending most of our time in the back of the house (computer, bedroom and bath), heating with a combination of a small space heater and the heat from the computers (you’d be amazed how much heat 4 computers can give off in a small area).  But I don’t think Vesta is telling me to turn the heater on.

While Mark and I are incredibly compatible and very  much in love, financial issues still take their toll on us.  My giving up the idea that I absolutely must have health insurance really has helped both of us feel better about our financial situation, and we’re both more relaxed, which of course makes our whole home more inviting.

Don’t forget, I’m still offering free tarot readings in the 3-card spread.  Send me an e-mail if you want a free reading.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Tarot Card of the Day: The Hanged Man

Nice Words

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Too Adorable!

I seriously want this statue or one like it.  I mean seriously.

Someday in my copious spare time I want to learn to sculpt.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Can Anyone Identify This Sculpture

I’m celebrating by announcing my latest on-line venture:

Administrative Arts

Okay…so it’s only interesting if you’re a secretary…but I’m still rather proud of it.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Happy birthday to me!

So, what have I been up to you ask? Well, the short answer is working! The job has been very busy. We had our big fund raiser at the end of April, so I was working a lot of overtime for about 6 weeks before. The week of the fundraiser, I probably spent about 60 hours at work. And, of course, given my generally low energy levels, once I got home I pretty much did nothing else. For me, writing takes energy, and I just haven’t had it to spare these last 2 months. But, the fundraiser and all the work after is done (well, most of it, but what is left isn’t urgent and can be done over time), so I have more energy to devote to other pursuits. So, on with the writing.

First of all, for all those who have asked after my brother-in-law, I very much appreciate the concern. He had his surgery on February 13th and came through it quite well. His recovery was slow but steady and he is now back at work full time and doing well. The doctor has been caustiously optimistic, but thinks they got all of the cancer and there is no spread. He is stopping just short of saying it is benign, because…well…doctors are in general cautious people. But he believes there is unlikely to be a recurrence. Cliff required no radiation or chemo and has now been referred to the Cancer Clinic for regular followups over the next few years. Thanks again to all who showed concern and sent energy to Cliff for his surgery and recovery.

When ever I spend so much time working, I like to spend most of my off time with Mark, so we’ve been watching a lot of DVD’s over the last couple of months. It’s something we can do together that requires no real energy on my part. So, we went back and watched Farscape again (one of our favorites). We also got into Lost. We’ve watched it twice and are eagerly waiting for Season 3 to come out on DVD. Of course, we watched Battlestar Galactica while it was on. The 3rd season started a bit slow, but really picked up again in quality towards the end. Now we are watching the first season of Law and Order. It’s a show we have both always enjoyed, but I didn’t start watching it until later in the production, so I’ve actually not seen any of season 1.

I’ve also been back on my reading kick. I picked up a number of books when I went to help my sister after her surgery. I’ve read The Known World, The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, Wicked, and I’ve reread all the Harry Potter series in anticipation of the final novel coming out in July! I’m so excited!

I’m now reading Sacred Contracts by Carolyn Myss. I’m 3 chapters in, and I have to tell you that this book resonates with me and my beliefs like nothing has in a very long time. You’ll probably be reading more about it as I go through, because it is something that is really calling out to me.

On the writing front, I got a notice of a pagan short story competition with a June something deadline. I’ve got a story wandering around in my head, and I need to see if I can convince it to inhabit paper. I have no real anticipations that it will be good enough to win or even print, but having something like a contest always spurs me to write, since it’s something I tend to be lazy about. So, don’t let me get lazy! Stay on my back until I get it written and submitted.

Let’s see…what else have I been up to….Oh, of course, how could I forget! I’ve joined a campaign. I figure now that I have more energy, it’s time to put my money where my mouth is politically. I am officially endorsing and campaigning for Barack Obama and have joined the local campaign here in Bellingham.

Well, that’s about all that’s been going on with me. Anyone else doing anything interesting?

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Catching up

Both Mark and I spent our adult lives believing that we were meant to be alone, that was our destiny. We followed our individual paths, went the way we were led, and while we were lonely at times, we were content with our lives as they were.

My path at the time was toward religious life in the Catholic Church. At the age of 30 I entered a community but left before making vows. It just wasn’t the right fit. I drifted for a while, got some desperately needed therapy *laughs*, pursued a fairly successful treatment for my fibromyalgia, and eventually, as I approached my 40s, I again sought religious life. I found the perfect community for my. They lived a close community life, which is what I sought, had retained some of the traditional practices of religious life, worked with the elderly, at least here in the states. I seemed to fit in with them perfectly, and was all set to enter.

Then they asked me to wait for a year while they worked out some internal issues at the convent. I was at a bit of a loss, because I had already shipped my mother off to live with my brother, had divested myself of a lot of the material junk that we tend to surround ourselves with, had withdrawn from ministries at church. So I looked around for something to keep me amused while waiting for the year to pass.

I found EverQuest. I began playing on New Years Day. Believe me, that’ll keep you busy *laughs*. I was active in the game and active on the message boards for the server. I enjoyed myself, but I still kept my strong connection with the convent I was entering. Everything was going well. Then one day I posted something on the message board about missing EQ and the forums when I entered the convent. A couple of days later, I got an e-mail from a cute little gnome that I met on the message boards. And that was that.

He e-mailed me because he was interested in my decision to enter religious life, what it would be like, why I was interested, did I have any doubts. He had a huge number of questions. So I answered them and asked some of my own. Thereby began the most voluminous correspondence of my life. For almost two weeks, we kept the internet hot with our e-mails. We discussed everything under the sun, life, religion, sprirituality, family, past experiences, everything. I shared more with him than I did any other individual in my life, before or since. We clicked, there’s no other way to describe it.

Next thing you know, we were phone callings as well as e-mailing. Then I was flying out to meet him, and suddenly, 3 months later, my belongings were all packed up and I was moving across the country so we could be together. That was almost 5 years ago. As I said, I’m not one to jump without thoroughly investigating every detail, worrying and obsessing over every move. But when you know something is right, you know it’s right.

Over the years, I often pondered why God would put this strong attraction to religious life in me and never let it be fulfilled. I was always delayed and put off by one thing or another happening in my life. Well, now I know. The one thing that attracted Mark and caused him to e-mail me in the first place was my attraction to religious life. Because I followed the path before and kept at it even when I was constantly disappointed and delayed, I came to the path’s culmination.

We don’t always know where the path is leading us. We might think we know, but we really don’t. All we can do is follow the path and trust that in the end, we’ll know the reasons. I found my reason, and he’s all I never knew I always wanted.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

He’s all I never knew I always wanted

For all of you guys that have been clicking on my link all this time to find no updates…wow…I didn’t think I had a following, much less a loyal one *laughs*.  Thanks for the support.  It makes me feel good to know people actually like what I have to say.

And now on to the update….

First of all, the new job has been very, very busy.  They are really utilizing all of my experience here, and that’s a good thing.  I feel like I am really having an impact on the organization, and it’s been a long, long time since I felt really good about my work.  In November, we had our big, annual fundraiser, which I spent hours and hours working on.  I feel really good about it because it was the most successful fundraiser in the history of the agency, and my work added to that.

November was also NaNoWriMo.  I threw caution to the wind and signed up this year.  The challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days.  How did I do, you ask?

Yep, I wrote 52,548 words and finished my novel.  It’s about a man and woman who have a relationship almost entirely by mail.  It’s based loosely in my husband’s and my relationship, which started by e-mail.  I’m in the process now of researching, editing and rewriting.  I’m really proud of it, though.  Writing a book has long been a dream of mine, and I’m thrilled that I actually did it.  Much thanks to my darling husband and his family for all the encouragement and support!

In gaming news, we played a variety of games.  We went from Shards of Dalaya, to Anarchy On-line, to Eve On-line, to EQII.  We really enjoyed EQII, but after a while, it got boring.  Pretty much each tier of quests is the same, just with harder mobs.  So, now we’re back to EQ, playing on Test Server again.  I forgot how much I really enjoyed the people there.  The people really do make all the difference.  In about 3 months on EQII, the only time anyone talked to me was when they wanted something.  I didn’t really think we had made such an impact on the server community, but everyone seemed to remember us when we got back.  I had welcome backs from people I don’t ever remember meeting in game *laughs*.  So, for now, we’re back in EQ and having fun.

On the health front:  I just finished the Phase II trial on the Milnacipran for the fibromyalgia.  I knew I was doing really well, but I thought most of it was due to the increase in thyroid I had around the same time.  Well, in between the rollover from the Phase II to Phase III trials, we had to wash off the drug.  Man, it’s amazing how much of an effect it was having.  There were a lot of problems I hadn’t even noticed were improved, which I noticed strongly when they came back *laughs*.  I’m starting back on the drug today, with a two week ramp up on the dose to the first dosage level of 100 mg.  I am so looking forward to being back on the drug.  These last two weeks have been really, reallly hard.  So, all you folks with Fibromyalgia, keep an eye out for Milnacipran to get FDA approval.  If you are in Europe, I believe it is already available.  Don’t know about Canada yet.  But I do know that I have had a tremendous response to the drug.

Lots of other things to write about, but I’ve exhausted my little store of energy, and I really need to get some work done.  I’ll try and add more later.

Ohh…one last thing.  Mark has an interview Thursday morning with a First Nations group to do some teaching.  Say a prayer, cast a spell, think positive thoughts, whatever your religious philosophy allows.  Mark and I both appreciate it very much.

Post from: Maritzia's Thoughts

Where the heck have I been?

First and foremost, I got a job!  (and there was much rejoicing)  I got the job at the youth services place I talked about before.  You know…the job I really, really wanted?  *laughs*.  It’s a pay cut, but one I can live with because I really like the place.  I started a week ago, right after Labor Day, and I’m still getting my feet wet.  There’s a huge amount to learn, because this place just does so many different things.  Last week was a little slow getting started, but it’s beginning to pick up.  The Executive Director is feeling more comfortable throwing things at me, so I now have a number of things on my to do list, which is good, because I bitterly hate to be bored *laughs*.  The only bad thing is I don’t have much time for things like blog browsing like I used to!  So I apologize in advance to all of you who may feel neglected.  I’m still reading a number of your blogs, but I just don’t have that much time to reply like I did.

Second….a new game!  My husband and I have been looking around for a new game to play for a while.  It’s been well over a year since we left EQ, and finding a new game wasn’t that much of a priority for me while I was so sick.  I didn’t have enough energy to play for the most part.  But now that I’m feeling so much better and have so much more energy, I really want to play again.  So, I finally was really pitiful and my husband agreed to give up on the Sony hate enough to let me get EQII.  I’ve been playing the Trial of the Isle, which is a one week free trial of the newbie area.  I have to admit that I haven’t enjoyed a game so much in ages.  The quests are interesting and are backed up by the story line.  There’s a variety of things to do, including tradeskilling, which I love.  So, he’s out getting the game for me today if he can find it locally.  Otherwise, we’ll have to order it on-line.  We already have a DVD reader/writer on order.  It’s something we need anyway, so we decided to go ahead and get it since more and more software media is being released on DVD only.  The only problem is that Mark’s computer doesn’t run the game that well.  The lag causes the screen to be jumpy when he moves and it gives him a headache.  He’s working with the options to tune performance, but it’s obvious that upgrading his computer is going to have to be a priority when we get more money.  In the meantime, he’s still working on studying for his MCAD exams, so he doesn’t want to get heavily into a game right now anyway.  But I intend to get my enjoyment’s worth out of it!

In other news, I’m doing much, much better on the new treatments.  I don’t know if it’s the increased thyroid dose or the study medication (which judging by the side effects, I’ve got the medication and not the placebo), but I’m feeling tremendously better.  Much more energized.  My mood is incredibly improved.  My sex drive is even starting to kick back in a bit.  We’re walking 45 minutes to an hour on weeknights and going much further than we were before.  And on weekends, we’re doing a 3-4 mile walk, which isn’t nearly as exhausting as it used to be.  It takes us about two hours, and we then take the next day off of walking.  So, all in all, my life is definitely looking up!

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I’m baaaa-aaack!